Here’s what we know. The word “ziegenbock” is German for “billy goat.” And ZiegenBock Brewing Company brews a delicious Texas Amber Beer in Houston, TX.
That, friends, is where we run out of facts and head straight into legends. Because just about everything and everyone in Texas has a legendary backstory. Some of ’em are even true.
Longhorns are big animals.
Majestic. But there was one
who was a little more
awesome than the rest.
Buford. A 48’ tall longhorn discovered outside Wichita Falls in 1898. Of course, he wasn’t five stories tall when found as a calf. Just 7’1’’.
Rancher Scott Baldwin and his wife Amber took him in and raised him up. Way up.
They, and his billy goat best friend, went to the State Fair where, sadly, Buford didn’t win the best-in-show ribbon. He couldn’t fit in the judging barn. To have at least a little fun, he gave thrill seekers rides swinging by ropes on his very long horns.
One of those swingers was a brewer of beer outside Houston who formulated a delicious amber brew in honor of Buford and his “mom,” Amber. ZiegenBock Texas Amber.
El Chupacabra. The name is Spanish for (ick) “goat sucker.” Out in West Texas, goats have mysteriously turned up dead and drained of their blood through small puncture wounds in their necks.
People have reported a creature about 4’ tall, in the 60-lb. range, bluish gray skin, spikes down the back, short arms with claws, legs like a kangaroo, and sharp teeth. Translation: Ugly as hell.
El Chupacabra is
thirsty. And it’s
obvious he’s thirsty for
ZiegenBock, which is
German for, you guessed it, “billy goat.” El Chupacabra isn’t strong with languages, so he has confused drinking a delicious Texas Amber Beer named for a billy goat with drinking an actual billy goat. It’s an honest mistake.
So now ranchers in
West Texas have
coolers of ZiegenBock
next to their goats at
night for El Chupacabra.
And it’s working. The real goats stay safe, and the ZiegenBocks are enjoyed, responsibly.
Marfa. “The lights.”
Flashing colors that light up the whole sky.
No one’s ever figured out what
they are, or what they mean.
They aren’t the Northern
Lights getting lost.
They’re not a reflection
of a large body of water.
Marfa’s in a big-ass desert.
So…What are they?
A message. From space.
On a level we can’t
Sent in binary code.
Ones and zeros. Over and over.
And it turns out the message is one of peace and happiness. In fact, it’s a recipe for that stuff.
The U.S. Government has decided to keep much of the message classified.
“Water. Hops. Barley. Sparge. Brewed to Amber. Yum. Water. Hops. Barley. Sparge. Brewed to Amber. Yum.”
Repeating over and over.
Yep, it’s beer. Specifically, Texas Amber Beer.
But here’s where it gets weird.
The message has been translated before…
In Houston… Where NASA is based…
Houston… Home of the ZiegenBock
Texas Amber Brewery.
There ARE no coincidences, people.
Pouring chestnut in color, DuneSkier has a malty sweetness, backed by a mild hop bitterness.